Just Another Cliche Story
by Peter-Harris
Summary: I'm sick of Cliche Stories.
1. Default Chapter

ANNOYING CLICHÉ TITLE

Author's Note: I bet you thought I died. This story is dedicated to all those horrible cliché stories that I hate so much.

Izzy tapped several times on his computer, it made several tapping noises as he did so. "Prodigious..." he muttered quietly.

He continued making this tapping noise until a hand tapped him. The hand was attached to an arm; that was attached to the body of a person whom Izzy was quite fond of. It's name was Mimi. "Izzy, this isn't the time." She said, between tears.

A body next to hers, offered her a tissue, the tissue belonged to a blue haired person that was in school to be a doctor. That person's name was Joe. Mimi took the tissue, and made several loud snorting noises, and handed it back to the person of Joe.

It was rainy that day, Tai remembered it was rainy because he felt very wet after standing outside for awhile, and it was all over him, not the occasional accidental ones that only made him wet in one place. And those only happened when people ran down the streets shouting "GOJIRA!" which was probably Japanese for "MONSTER OF ANY/ALL CLASSIFICATIONS!!" although, he knew none of those were true, for he had never heard anyone speak in all capitals.

It was 2:00 PM when he had gotten the call on his cell phone. It was 2:00 PM because that's what his watch said, and he knew it was his cell phone because rarely does his pocket make that ringing sound. Only when there is a bell in it; and that only happened a few times. Normally on the days when there were no people screaming Gojira.

But not anymore. For someone he knew, and loved very much had died. Kari had called him to tell him the news, about how the car had tried to avoid her, and how the flesh was pounded flat against the road, as if a giant car had failed to avoid hitting him.

All of Tai's friends came over to their house and offered him gifts and tried to cheer him up, but it was no use. He was in complete shock. He couldn't imagine how he was going to continue his life without that extra body.

Kari was taking it worse though, every morning she would wake up and put food on his dish, and every night he'd cuddle with her before sleep. But not anymore. Miko was dead.

So began Tai's series of unfortunate events. The unfortunate events that eventually led him to an amazing discovery... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Mimi took the tissue, and made several loud snorting noises, and handed it back to the person of Joe. Joe looked at the tissue with a look of distaste, and threw it on the ground, which some weirdo later stole to add to a Mimi shrine.

"That cat... was like... a fine fur coat to me..." Mimi said, in between sniffles.

"That cat... was a very inquisitive feline." Izzy said, in between tappings, and being hit on the head by a hand that belonged to Mimi.

"That cat... was... an animal of interest to me." Said Joe, in between looking at the tissue distastefully, wondering what he'd gotten himself into, and trying to remember where the otolith was on a cichlid fish.

But the funeral was over, everyone was mainly quiet, except for the snifflings, tappings, and the sound of someone's eyes looking at a tissue distastefully.

Anyone who knows anything about the Japanese knows that they don't bury their dead, and instead burn it. Tai had burned Miko with a lighter he had found outside in a dumpster. Because as he learned, lighters contain millions of calories that his mother had been trying to avoid.

Miko's ashes now sat within an old food dish labeled Miko, it was sitting above some sort of thing where there were other trinkets. But all this is relatively un-important. The important thing, is what happened next. Ignoring all the above said, erase it from your memory, except for the fact that most of the Digidestined were in the same room.

The city was nuked and everyone died.

I'm kidding! Just making sure you're paying attention!

The door to the apartment room swung open, a bright light blinded everyone in the room, and there stood, an ugly and hideous shadow.

"You guys! You gotta turn on the news!" came the voice of Matt from the shadow, as he quickly thrust off his shoes and ran inside. He threw himself onto the couch where there were a few ashes scattered in Miko's favorite place, and turned on the TV. He pressed a few buttons and changed it to a channel where it showed a bottle of shampoo. An announcer was talking about how well it cleans hair, and doesn't cause baldness.

The scene changed to the back of someone's head, as their hair was washed with the shampoo. "That's my hair!!" shouted Matt.

And of course everyone did an anime fall, just like they do in real life all the time in Japan because Animes are always 100 accurate about the way people talk and behave in Japan.

"Matt you idiot! Watch something interesting for once!" shouted Tai in between wanting to strangle Matt.

"Science Channel!" Izzy said, hoping someone would listen to him.

"Shopping!" Mimi shouted, whilst covering TK's mouth so as to stop some of the competition.

"Live Surgery Channel!" Shouted Joe, although he knew such a channel didn't exist, and got squeamish at the very thought of there ever being such a channel.

Everyone tackled Matt and tried to steal the remote from him. For they all knew that coming to a reasonable agreement was pointless, and that those never come to anything except selfishness.

Matt bit Mimi, and Mimi kicked Izzy. Izzy used his laptop to work as a clamp and crush Joe's head, but Joe was the most intelligent and simply through TK in as his place. TK, frustrated, clawed the living daylights out of someone whom no one ever discovered, for they all had claw marks on them when it was over. Sora, meanwhile, bashed Matt over the head with her helment. Tai watched the whole even taking place, and simply picked up the remote which had fallen on the ground in all the commotion.

He changed it to some random cartoon channel and went into his room to tell Kari about what had happened. The two of them came out of the room with a bag of movie candy to eat while watching TV. Yeah right... TV...

It was pretty entertaining, no one had expected Izzy to whip out a computer mouse and attempt strangling Joe. But then again, Izzy didn't expect Mimi to know Jujitsu either.

"Do you think they still remember what they're fighting about?" Kari asked Tai.

"I doubt it. Not even you and I use gelled hair as daggers." Tai replied, in between getting gooey bits of sugary bear out of his teeth.

But none of this is really relevant to what happened next. It just kind of gave you a backstory. And backstories are always very important to novels, fan fics, and video games. Without backstories, no story would have a spine!

Just as Joe was about to wrap a bandage around TK and prevent him from breathing, the TV went to static, completely silencing everyone. It wasn't just because they had broken the computer (though that was most of it) it was because the white noise was very deafening, something about it was very strange. It burned their ears, made their hair stand on end, and made Izzy close his computer (TK's head wasn't in it anymore).

Tai stared at the TV, wildly pressing buttons, trying to turn the TV off but it wasn't working. Slowly an image began to appear on the television, it appeared to be a news broadcast of some remote city. Down at the bottom some words scrolled by in a foreign language.

"Those symbols look familiar..." Izzy mumbled as he opened up his computer again and started opening documents.

There was a lot of gibberish on the Television and it appeared that there was a lot of smoke in the air. "xxhhzz... italzz... uhshrrxxzz" was the main noise they heard. They couldn't decipher whether it was the static, or the language of whoever was speaking that made it sound so strange.

It cleared up and they could clearly hear the voice of a familiar man they had once met, and Izzy shouted "Prodigious! It's the Digital World Code!"

The voice of Gennai was slowly made clear as he made a news broadcast;

"zzfires are spreading. As yet the "real" world has yet to comment on the causes of these fires, and it is suspected that perhaps they originated here. No monsters have reported seeing any dangerous or suspicious looking Digimon in the area, so it is unlikely that it is caused by any virus Digmon." Gennai's voice finished.

"A news broadcast?" Joe wondered.

"I suppose it is. We haven't heard much from the Digital World lately, perhaps it's time we visit." Izzy said, already packing up his computer and imagining what kind of adventures awaited them now.

The screen faded to static again, and then returned to the cartoon show. Tai was already reaching for his digivice, and Sora was already smiling, she knew that Tai would never pass up a chance to visit the Digital World.

Stay tuned! It gets worse in the next chapter!!


	2. A Trite or often overused expression

A TRITE OR OFTEN OVERUSED EXPRESSION

Author's Note: PLEASE DON'T CUT ME!!

The Digidestined were strangely not concerned with the whole thing that they had seen on TV. In fact, within several minutes most of them had either forgotten, or lost interest in saving the digital world. I mean, hey, there's a new digidestined, and the enemy was always so cliché and just like the last one, but either more evil or more ugly. How could this one be any different?

After several long hours of debating. Whether they should go or not, what they would do when they got there, and what their main motive was, they finally decided to go to the mall.

I don't know if there are Mall's in Japan. After all, the only thing I know about the culture of Japan is what I see in Animes, video games, and what my Japanese teacher tells me. But anyways… they went to the mall.

After that they broke up.

Calm down Taiora fans! I didn't mean it like that! They simply separated, went their own ways. No no! Not like that! ...oh I give up. You're all helpless.

Like all good horror stories, they all split up. Mimi went to clothing, and dragged Sora along because she needed to be more "girlish" and Matt and Tai left for the sports and music sections respectively. They walked with each other so they could argue along the way.

TK and Kari left to go do stuff, leaving Joe and Izzy alone…. In the darkness… in plain daylight.

"So Izzy… I suppose you wanna go look at computer stuff?" Joe asked, trying to break the ice.  
"So uhm…. How about we look at the doctor… stuff?" They had been like this ever since they broke up….

"I'm sorry Joe… we just can't go on. It's just complicated…"

"But soon I'll be going to med school, and I can support us!" Joe replied to his sweetheart.

"Well you see Joe… honey… it's that… I've been seeing someone else…"

"Who?!" Exclaimed Joe.

"Izzy." Replied Mimi, in a dream like state.  
"Does he know?!" exclaimed Joe, again.

"Of course not!" Replied Mimi, again.

Ever since Mimi started hitting on Izzy, and ignoring Joe, things had been awkward between the two of them. Izzy of course tried his hardest to ignore Mimi, and pretend he didn't notice anything, and Joe wrote frequent hate letters to Izzy, expressing his intense desire that Izzy be hit by a car, or the next monster attack (Why does Japan get all the monster attacks anyway?).

"Don't be stupid Izzy, there is no 'Doctor Store'!" Joe smirked (can that be used in this case?).

"No, you don't be stupid!" Remarked Izzy.

"No, you don't!" Joe replied.

"No, you!" Izzy replied maturely.

"You!" Joe said.

"You!"

"You!"

"Hey!" came a voice from which both of them cringed. It was the highly annoying, high pitched voice of… Navi.

"What the freakin' heck are you doing here?!" exclaimed Izzy, trying desperately to remain calm as the blue speck flew around the both of them.

"Just don't make eye contact with her, she'll go away." Joe replied, although his knees were shaking and sweat was rolling down his forehead.

"I don't want to look at hair gel!" shouted Matt.

"Well I don't want to look at hair sized floor wax!!" Tai exclaimed.

"Well what else is going to make my hair shine?"

"You don't need anything else! They already turned down your driver's license because you were blinding everyone!" Tai remarked.

"Why am I even hanging out with you anyway?" Matt said, attempting to look cool, while nearby a security camera burst into flames as it rotated and pointed at Matt.

"Gosh you're such a jerk Tai!" Matt said, and then thrust his fist into Tai's face, thoroughly denting Tai's hair.

From across the area of the mall, Sora and Mimi stared in horror as Matt and Tai beat the living daylights out of each other. A few people stopped to watch, while a store owner advertised popcorn.

After about an hour of absolute clobbering, a policeman approached the crowd and broke them up. He used his 1337 skillz to stop Tai and Matt.

"Halt!" he said. And immediately they forgot their bitter hatred for each other.  
"Yo man it's okay." Said Matt.  
"Hey, you're pretty good at that fighting stuff. We should go workout or something." Replied Tai, while wiping the blood off his face.

"OMG!one!! I thought Matt was gonna kill you!!" Sora said, and rushed over to Tai, where they made out for several hours, because in order to keep this PG I have to say make out, but I'm sure that's not what all those other fan-fics mean, they just want you to keep reading and see their horribly cliché ending where Sora and Tai have a fancy western wedding, and buy a 100 year old Victorian house in the back woods country of Japan!

Right…

So seeing this, Mimi and Matt left the two lovers to their whatever and set off to see what happened to the rest of the Digidestined that I left out of the story.

ah je do…

So TK and Kari were doing stuff in a little corner of the Mall. Right, let's check up on them.

So the two of them were just sitting there, quite comfortable under a push phone. If you don't know what a push phone is, then you probably won't get what a bush phone is.

They were sitting across from each other, in public, and in plain daylight in the darkness. TK was pushing some buttons on a thing, and Kari was doing likewise.

"Ha! My Lv. 5 Venusaur beat your Lv. 255 Charizard!" TK exclaimed.

"But are you ready for my… Level. 37 Puke'nchew?!" Kari said, adding a little chuckle to herself and noting the joke that the author just made that most adults these days wouldn't get. Unless they hated Pokemon.

Suddenly, completely out of the blue, my Japanese teacher appeared. "Konnichiwa!! Genki desu ka!?" she shouted into the ears of the comfortable, snug, pokemon playing "couple".

TK and Kari stared in horror. They had no clue how to respond.

"Kari… do you know Japanese?" TK asked Kari, as I'm sure you could've guessed.

"Not a word. Except random ones like baka, kawai, harisen."

At this my Japanese teacher became very upset, for if you knew what those words were (and since you're reading a fan-fic about a Japanese cartoon, I'm sure you do), you would know why.

My Japanese teacher then grabbed the phone book, and pretended to smash in poor Kari's head, but didn't really, and then left the mall muttering to herself in Japanese.

Far in another corner of the Japanese Mall thing, Izzy and Joe combated the supreme evil blue ball. But that's another part of the story I'm going to save for later.

Far in another corner of the Mall of Japan, Tai and Sora made out. Moving on.

Far in another corner of this apparently huge Japanese Mall, Mimi and Matt walked and talked, and did nothing that could possibly suggest a couple arising. Seriously, they just talked about life!  
"So then I said, you know what Tai? You're not a very kind person. And then he went all nuts on me!" said Matt as they walked and talked about life.

"Yes, Tai can be like that sometimes. I remember this one time when I was at home, my kitty was drinking some milk and I said, 'don't you get sick!' and my kitty said 'meow' and continued drinking its milk, and then I went to go get dressed and have some American breakfast food, which I ate with a fork, and then when I went back to the pantry there was kitty barf all over the place! I tell you… er…. What were we talking about?" Mimi inquired as the walked and talked about life.

"Uh… Tai." Replied Matt, fearing that he would startle up another outburst from her as they walked and talked about life.

"Oh yes, Tai. I remember this one time when Sora told me that her mom told her that her grandmother told her that her sister told her that my mom told her that I told her that Tai was a bad person. But she didn't believe me." Mimi said, as they walked and talked about life.

Then Matt turned to Mimi and started to say something that would've changed the entire path of the Digidestined's lives. New Romances formed, new members joined, new careers, events that would've placed Cody as Prime Minister, and Izzy as Chief of Technology.

Events that would've sculpted world peace, a one world government, new fashion trends, the end of starvation, and an age of technology, knowledge, and wonder, all from what Matt would've said…

…If it weren't for the unfortunate asteroid that plummeted through the roof and reduced the mall to splinters. Those that weren't crushed were either slowly roasted alive, or slowly baked by radiation.

The burnt and shriveled hands of Kari were poised on the "A" button on the Gameboy in her hands, and Matt's mouth was frozen open as he formed the first syllable of what he was about to say.

Izzy and Joe's bodies were not found, but it was discovered why, for they had swung a golf club at a sphere of blue lightning.

Davis's hands were found gripped around a wooden statue of a monkey. But he wasn't part of this story therefore I will not elaborate on why he was stealing a wooden statue of a monkey, and why he had a golden duck in his pants pocket (that is… if the Japanese really do wear pants).

Tai and Sora's bodies were found with their lips locked. Yeah. At least, the investigators thought it was Tai and Sora; the burned and deformed bodies were difficult to make out.

And this, my sad, angry readers, is the end. Fortunately.


End file.
